


Text Message Transcripts between Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes

by LokiOfSassgaard



Series: Text Message Transcripts [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-28 21:15:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6345457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokiOfSassgaard/pseuds/LokiOfSassgaard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day in the life of the mobile phones of Messrs Holmes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Text Message Transcripts between Mycroft and Sherlock Holmes

Get your CCTV camera pointed away from my window.  
SH

I havent the slightest idea what youre talking about  
MH

Good God, doesn’t your phone have basic punctuation features?  
SH

Or at least an auto-correct?  
SH

There. Does this better suit your fancy?  
MH

Yes. Much better. A man in your position really should know such basic rules as apostrophes and hard stops.  
SH

Anything to please my darling baby brother.  
MH

Then move your CCTV camera away from my window. Point it at someone else.  
SH

I still haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.  
MH

Yes you do.  
SH

Move it.  
SH

Now.  
SH

Last chance.  
SH

Really, Sherlock. Let’s leave petty vandalism up to school children, shall we? That was below even you.  
MH

Thought you didn’t know what I was talking about.  
SH

That camera was pointed at the cafe next to th e building.  
MH

I can hear you lying through your text. How do you survive as a secret agent?  
SH

You know full well I’m not a secret agent, and I’ve no idea where you get such ideas.  
MH

Torture any more diplomats this week?  
SH

You must be the only person on the planet who can simultaneously spy on someone and ignore them.  
SH

Who says I’m ignoring you?  
MH

I knew it! Stop spying on me!  
SH

How are things at home? I take it John is well?  
MH

You tell me. You’d know.  
SH

Ignoring me again?  
SH

Haven’t you got a case to work on?  
MH

BORED.  
SH

Clearly. Unlike some people, I do have a job to do right now.  
MH

Boring.  
SH

I just spray painted that camera 20 minutes ago. How is it suddenly devoid of paint and pointing back at my flat?  
SH

It really isn’t. Paranoia really doesn’t suit you.  
MH

It’s not par anoia when I have evidence to prove the fact.  
SH

Like the evidence I have of you vandalising a CCTV camera?  
MH

MOVE IT.  
SH

Last chance, Mycroft.  
SH

Isn’t that the second time you’ve said that to me today?  
MH

What have you done with my camera?  
MH

Make that cameras. Plural.  
MH

I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about, darling brother.  
SH

NW1 didn’t just completely drop offline on its own, Sherlock.  
MH

Prove it.  
SH

Put it back, and I’ll make sure you aren’t charged with acts of terrorism.  
MH

What do I get out of this deal?  
SH

No deal.  
MH

Then, sorry. I’ve no idea what happened to your little spy toys.  
SH

I’ll have my assistant bring the package round to your flat. ETA: 20min.  
MH

ETA of cameras: 21 minutes.  
SH

You didn’t poison these, did you?  
SH

If I wanted to poison you, it wouldn’t be nearly as obvious.  
MH

Okay. You can have your cameras back.  
SH

I’m ignoring the one that’s still down.  
MH

I’m also trusting you to not wear more than three of those terrible things, Sherlock. You remember what happened the last time you wore too many.  
MH

I’m wearing five right now. I might go for six.  
SH

I’m pretending that you didn’t just say that.  
MH

How’s that working for you?  
SH

Fine. Ignore me. I don’t care anyway.  
SH


End file.
